Three Ways to Feel More Comfortable Networking

Are you relaxed doing the “press the flesh” thing? When you attend workplace conferences and events, do you readily engage in conversations, include others and move gracefully amongst the guests? Or do you line up against the wall, frozen in position, not knowing where to begin or how to start a conversation or respond if someone approaches you?

If the very thought of networking makes you shudder and drains you, if just thinking of the energy it would take to interact exhausts you, you might be introverted. (NOTE: all of us are a mix of both introversion and extraversion. This means that even if extraverted, you have moments when you relate to what I just described).

Whether you work with introverts or lean toward introversion yourself, you’re not alone. Here are a few proven ways to help you glide through your next networking event.

TIP #1: Change How You Think

Think about the benefits you will get by networking. You’ll make new connections, hone your networking skills and likely meet some wonderful people of like mind. Let connecting with others be the focus of your networking efforts and how you choose to spend your energy.

Here’s the real key: Refocus your attention away from you and onto those you want to meet, the people you’re reaching toward.

Use what I call “The Limited Energy Principle.” You only have so much energy in your body. Instead of channeling it into thinking about your nerves, being self-conscious about how you look and wondering what you’re going to say, turn it all toward connecting with others. When you feel the nerves welling up, adopt the mantra, “It’s not about me, it’s about them.” Come from a place of service and focus on the other person, not yourself.

TIP #2: Initiate Contact

Grab control, put yourself in the driver’s seat. Yes, it’s up to YOU to initiate contact. But how? This is the step that stumps most people, so let me share with you a few of my top tips for initiating icebreaker conversations: scan the room, know how to introduce yourself, ask questions and show interest.

TIP #3: End the Conversation and Move On

Yup, that’s right. YOU take control and end the conversation to give you and your colleague a chance to mix and mingle with others. At a networking event, nothing is worse than someone clinging. You don’t want to be that person.

Be aware of your colleague’s signals that it’s time to end the conversation. Watch the body language. Are eyes wandering? Are shoulders and feet turned away from you? Have they clammed up and getting answers is like pulling teeth? Time to move on. Your objective: Initiate and end at least three conversations. Your rule of thumb: Limit the length of your initial conversation to a few minutes. You can always return later if you felt a connection, and when you do, you won’t be approaching a stranger anymore.

Final thought

The bottom line is this: Make an effort to communicate, and when someone makes that effort with you, reward it by reciprocating. Doing those two things helps everyone feel more comfortable, introverted or not.

You show the universe what you value by how you spend your resources. At your next event, coffee break or meeting, spend some of your energy on networking and reap the rewards.

Explore this topic in depth at the CSAE 2022 Conference: REUNITE at Halifax this fall. Get a sneak peek below: